For those of you who dip in and out of this little space here and who probably know very little of our family dynamics, my hubby and I have three girls. Three energetic, feisty and vivacious girls!
And before you read, this is not a ‘you should / you shouldn’t’ post. I am no expert as anyone who knows me would tell you; this is simply a little monologue of what we have muddled through here in our wee home, in a small corner of a big, big world.
Ours is not a house where gentleness is highly rated between our girls; they chase, blade, play and bicker, all at quite high volume and often with great gusto! Competition can be fierce and no loyalties shown at times! Probably all quite normal…I’m hoping. But as a naturally quite laid back person, I have grown into this aspect of motherhood at a very slow pace and have pushed against it for quite some time…it is something I still struggle with often. I want them to dote on each other, cuddle and be affectionate. This is all of course backed with soothing music and, in reality, shows how remarkably cliched and narrow my view of sibling love is.
This is said simply to give a little background as to how our three girls ended up sharing a room in what is a relatively small, 4 bed semi-detached house…thus leaving 2 bedrooms unoccupied!
With our eldest wanting to move out of bunkbeds and into her own room, a shuffle was about to happen. And so she did. She moved to her own room, with all her own bits and bobs and no one to bother her when she moved a toy or notebook or kept her light on too late.
But it lasted a couple of days; and then she felt lonely.
Like she was missing out.
And so, she moved back in.
A bunkbed and a single and they loved it. And I both loved it and didn’t.
I loved the late night giggles and camaraderie it formed.
I loved the closeness and cosiness of the room.
I loved the conversations we all had, sitting around beds in the room, before lights off.
I loved that it would make memories.
But I also decidedly didn’t love it. It kept our youngest up too late…with dark bags under her eyes to prove it. Also that, at 9pm, I seemed to morph into a more aggressive person; my horns grew and all that loveliness of the cuddles and kisses and sweet nothings in ears seemed to vanish and in frustration at the lack of sleep, my patience seemed to abruptly end.
Of recent, Abi has asked once again to move back into the other room. We have reflected on the fact that sharing a room for the past 6 months has been great for them in so many ways and we would love for it to continue in some form. And so the balance has been found: that during school term, we’ll give Abi her space (and allow Maddie some sleep) and that over holidays we’ll gather them in, altogether again.
And interestingly, the one who has been most vocal at the loss of Abi; is Annie. Which is lovely to me and I love that a little bond has been strengthened and nurtured in a very simple way between them.
But in the meantime, I’m hoping the change back will keep my post 9pm, horned, alter ego well and truly tucked away!!
If you’ve noticed, I haven’t really answered my question, because for us, it is a yes and a no! And I think that’s ok. As I often say…whatever works.