When I thought about the days of being a mum, I think the early days were what I imagined…the preschool days. The endless hours of doing both nothing and yet everything, with thoughts of little feet dangling from around your waist.
And those days were great; I look back on them with massive fondness and with gratitude that I got to spend those many hours with my little girls as they explored the world.
Then school hits…slowly at first but before you know it you’re in deep. I have seem to have blinked and suddenly I have this daughter of 10. She is in the midst of a system which I have grown to loathe, despite being a teacher myself. Where I watch seemingly helplessly, as she grapples with her confidence, with her self esteem and where I feel I wrestle endlessly with her as she defines herself on a scoring system where high marks deem you worthy and low, unworthy.
So as her mum, through all of this, I have begun to see my main role as a builder of confidence, a protector from the voices around which unintentionally bring her down…I need to be the one to highlight her strengths, those that are not shown in a score. I falter too though, frustration bubbles over and those same voices around drown out my own reasoning, my own faith strongholds that tell me her worth is not found in a score.
After a difficult post-test day and a discussion over (yes..) a fizzy drink she said, “I’ll bloom where I’m planted mum.”
“I’ll bloom where I’m planted.”
And there, in that one phrase, she summed it all up. Though young in years and already weaving her way through difficult emotions, she saw in that moment that she’ll be fine. And she will.
Sometimes we need to trust their judgement and their wisdom…those little eyes that see the world more clearly at times than we realise.