Expectations of what life should look like, how I should react, how our girls should behave…sometimes those expectations are more about controlling rather than relationship or teaching love.
Being intentional rather than focusing on my expectations has pulled me out of that black hole of control. Loving each of our girls as unique, a gift to be nurtured, cherished. But being intentional is sometimes one of the hardest things about being a mum. When I’m busy, when I’m tired, when I don’t know how to react or how to deal with a conflict that has arisen, I often fall back into my natural reactions of frustration.
At times I need to fight to be intentional, to be thankful…here, now, in this moment, whatever that moment holds. To stop myself from reacting/being impulsive, to look them in the eye and deeply give thanks for them and for the God who gave them to me to hold for a while.
Intentionally seeking out each of our girls.
What makes them tick.
And patience, gentleness…over and over and over again.
I have read a great book…it is well worn as it’s so easy to dip into when perhaps time and energy is not on my side… ‘Loving the Little Years’ by Rachel Jankovic.
Again it brings me back, helps me refocus…I need to seek out these three little girls. Three little souls, three different ways of responding, three sensitive hearts to be cherished, nurtured….loved.